Posts Tagged ‘The BFF


11/2/12 Daily Thankful

Today, I am thankful for The BFF.

No, really. She is amazing. I honestly couldn’t survive without her. She listens to all my incessant whining, my stupid ramblings and even my bad jokes (even if she forgets to laugh at them, Velvet Underground!!).

She gives me support, a couch to crash on, and sooooometimes, acts as my favorite enabler. There isn’t a damn thing about that woman I don’t love the crap out of. So The BFF, today is for you!

Other Things I Am Thankful For:

11/1/12 – I am thankful for my job.



It’s never been a secret that I didn’t have the best childhood. My father bailed when I was too young to even know I had a father, and my mother put partying and drugs before her children, and married a man who abused me. While both have attempted to atone for their actions, I’ve always wondered why the cycle stopped with me.

It’s long been discussed that abuse and addiction spiral children into a vicious cycle. The abused will abuse. But with me, that never happened. I’m not typically a violent person, even though I may be short-tempered and easily agitated at times. As far as drugs go, I’ve never done anything worse than pot. I’ve seen it, I’ve been around it, I’ve been offered it, but the thought never appealed to me.

Throughout the years of my childhood.. what went right? Surrogacy.

While my parents were making poor life choices, somehow, I always found people who DID love and care for me. I didn’t actively seek out these people, maybe they found me. No matter how they came into my life, I’ve had many “mothers”.

My grandmother and grandfather stepped up to the plate early in my life. My earliest memory is of my grandma and my Mom fighting over me, and my grandfather intervening and bringing me inside. My grandfather was the man who I will always be able to say loved me first, and the most.

As I got older, and really saw and understood my mother was an addict, I became close to my friends mother. Mea, or as I call her, Mummuhz, became my guiding light, and really took me under her wing. We had lost touch for several years, and when I moved back to the area, rekindling my relationship with her, her husband, and her son became an important, albeit easy, task. They re-welcomed me with open arms, and saved me once again. Not only is she a surrogate mother, but I call her son my brother.

Making the choice to move 3,000 miles away was difficult for me. Not only was I moving away from my sisters, who I’ve cared for their whole lives, and making it more difficult for my mother and I to repair our relationship, I was leaving my surrogate family. It was so hard to explain to all of them that I loved them, I wasn’t unhappy with them, I just needed to go where my heart was leading me. Like any loving family, they understood and supported me.

When I made the move, at first I felt a rush of adrenaline. Then, it started to sink in, I didn’t have any of my “Mom’s” here. But, in typical Pixie fashion, once again I have found family.

The BFF is my rock. She’s not a mother-figure to me, but the world would be infinitely more lonely had I not found her. She has helped me in more ways then I could ever explain. I didn’t just gain a best friend, I didn’t just find that there is someone out there who understands me. Her family has also welcomed me. Her sister refers to me as “Auntie Pixie” to her 4 children, whom I adore. Her mother has been loving and welcoming as well. Even her Aunt from up north has welcomed me.

It’s not always in person I find family either. For a very long time, members of the Julien-K message board were my family, some of whom I still talk to today. Those people brought me through some of the roughest of times.

When it boils down to it, as of late, I’ve looked into my life and really recognized all the life lessons I’ve learned. Don’t put metal in the microwave, don’t put the whole bottle of food coloring in your sisters bathwater (sorry Emi!), never trust an adult beverage that sounds like a porn film. But the most important lesson I’ve ever learned? “Family” isn’t blood, it’s all the crazies you choose to keep in your life.

And man, I sure picked a bunch of weird ones.

P.S.: According to WordPress, this is post #100! Wooo! I finally made it! Hey, shut up, it’s not a race!


Girls in the ‘hood

The BFF and I are random. It’s kind of what we’re famous for, along with last minute (usually awesome, but poor financial) decisions, and being fabulous. It’s why we like us.

A while back, we got word that a record store all the way up in Long Beach had free sampler CD’s from a band we like, and being the random bitches we are, we decided to take the 1 1/2 hour trek. What can I say, we *really* like free.

After getting our free shit, then “accidentally” spending some money on random CD’s and DEER SHAPED CRAYONS, we decided it was still early enough to go on an adventure. (What? We like free, but we also like the band Orgy, and Skid Row. Don’t judge us!)

Driving through the area, we noticed a few cool sights, enjoyed the music from the used CD’s we rescued, and decided to head home. Being the awesome (read: horrible) navigator I am, I’m looking down at my phone, trying to figure out my map, when the BFF *screams* “GIANT DONUT!!!!”.

I dropped my phone in my lap and was all, “What? Where?! WANT!”. ‘Cuz what fat girl doesn’t want a giant donut! Disappointingly, said giant donut was on top of a donut shop, which appeared to be closed, so we went on our merry way.

Since that night, Giant Donut has become somewhat of an inside joke between us, as a lot of things do. We’ve even done some research to find out where the hell the GD was.

Today, I got this magical text from The BFF:

BFF: Dude! The giant donut TOTES was in Compton!!! Cuz the bitches in da hood are always hard. (Have I mentioned we like to dirty rap to Eazy-E at 3 am? Stop. Judging.)

Read that again. Yeah, that says Compton! Compton as in COMPTON, CAL-EYE-FORN-EYE-AY!

Picture this: Two women. Two WHITE women. Two WHITE women in a Mini-Van. Two white women, in a mini-van, after dark. Two white women, in a mini-van, after dark, IN COMPTON!

Sometimes, Internet, ignorance really is bliss.



Queen of the Mountain

This Saturday, it was a gorgeous day in sunny Southern California, so my friends and their daughter decided to go on a hike. I was graciously invited, and having never gone on an actual hike, I was game.

First of all, I wasn’t aware we were going UP. A. MOUNTAIN. They called it a large hill, I called them ridiculous. We were both wrong, as it’s actually a 22-million year old volcanic plug¹. So there.

Mount Calavera at the Lake Calavera Preserve – Carlsbad, CA

My gracious hosts encouraged me along, knowing that this was my first hike, and I appreciated the lack of humiliation, because 30 seconds in, I was panting and gasping for breath. I’m a beginner, shush. This guy is 513 feet of steep, uneven terrain trails.

Not the steepest or most un-even, but you get the idea. Yeah, we climbed that.

On my way up. Yes, I have my purse with me. Shut. Up.

Slowly, we made our way to the top, and I have to say, it was worth it. Being able to stand where it feels like you’re on top of the world is amazing. To the west I could see the ocean, and to the east, snow-capped mountains, below us, a small lake, and all around, rooftop views. It was really refreshing and exhilarating.

I was really proud that I made it to the top, no joke. I never thought I could do something like this.

Ocean to the West

Snow-Capped Mountains to to East

And Lake Calavera below us

We rocked that ancient volcanic plug, biaaaatch. Yes, Melissa and I are ridiculous.

From the top, you can see the rock designs people have made near the base where the quarry was in the 1930’s. Yep, that’s a rock maze. Yep, that other shape is exactly what you think it is.

The whole experience was really great. Except the part where they told me there were rattlesnakes, and took me down a steep path where I felt like I was going to fall on my face and have my skull crushed in and have to go to the emergency for not only my crushed skull, but rattlesnake bites because they all found me and were all “Hey look! A chunky one tried to hike! Dinner’s ready!”.

I might be exaggerating. Slightly.

You can’t see the terrified look on my face, but it’s there. Also, not the worst part of the way down.

Up close of the rock maze. I was badgered until I actually went through it. Not by the 13 year old, either.

At the base, on the quarry side. Can you spot me?

Either way, I would totally go hiking again. It was a really great experience, and I can’t wait until we go on another trail. Oh, next time, I won’t bring my purse. I swear, people were staring… 3 of those people BROUGHT ME there!

All the photography is done by my best friend Melissa. She’s ridiculous and refuses to start a photography blog, so if you want to let her know how much her pictures effin rock, comment here and I’ll force her to look at them. Note to Melissa: I’m gonna start posting more of your pictures! They is awesome!

1- Btw, a volcanic plug SOUNDS dirty, but it’s not. Basically, a plug is magma that hardened inside the volcano. As the volcano erodes away, what’s left is the plug. Thank you Wikipedia.

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