Oh, Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

Photo Friday is coming up later on tonight, but I just HAD to get this WEIRD ass dream written down. Where else better to put it then on the internet! This would make one hell of a book or movie, I swear! (*= I changed names, because I knew just about everyone in my dream, and I don’t want to infringe on privacy, nor encourage certain people.)

So, the dream starts out as an evil, crazed, woman, Dr. C* takes over Massachusetts and wants to turn people into sex dolls. Mass soon becomes a tortured wasteland.

Then, it cuts to myself, Miss M*, Miss D*, R*, and some random people hanging out in this “bar” which is more like someone’s living room in their apartment. R is having a rough day from some crazed girlfriend beating him up the night before, so I offer to help him up off the floor and into a comfy chair and get him a drink. After I do, I ask if he wants anything else, and he tells me Apple Cinnamon Ginger Snaps. So I get him the snaps (after asking if he wants milk in them ….wtf?) and then I’m sitting on his lap feeding them to him, and they are basically Cheerios (again, wtf?). We end up flirting as I feed him and the other girlies in the room start giggling like crazy.

A few minutes later, these weird looking robot/people (androids?) come in and demand R get up, as it’s his “turn” to be brought to Dr. C. I stand up and demand that they take me instead of him.

They take me in, strip me, then I get chained up to some machine thingy, and I’m basically taken through a human car wash. It’s this long tube and I’m pulled through it on these chains and I get washed, laser hair removal from the neck down(way to be fricken weird, dream), buffed, dried, and then spray coated with this weird crap. I’m then brought to a room where my hair is dyed bright red, and I have makeup airbrushed onto me. After that, I’m dragged off to a holding room where I’m hung up to “set”.

One of Dr. C’s assistants B* tells me that the solution I was sprayed with will turn my skin into realistic feeling silicone, so I won’t be able to move freely. After my skin “sets”, I’ll be taken to have a wiring box installed so I will have no control over my body anymore, thus becoming a live sex doll.

As I “set”, R, Miss M, and Miss D plot to rescue me. They take off for this lab I’m in and Miss D sits outside in a van, overriding the computer systems while Miss M DJ’s in the back. (I’m assuming this was very important to the rescue mission, mhm) (P.S. She was totally playing the Mission Impossible theme, and sputtering “unce unce unce” the whole time, awesome, right?) R manages to climb into a tube and head through the car wash machine thing (the tube protects him, duh) and gets into the lab to save me. (Mission Impossible/James Bond style, of course)

He tosses me into a rolling laundry cart thing and disguises himself as a guard (well, what else would he do?), and brings me down to the loading dock where they put all the clothes they take from the human sex dolls. Somehow he manages to get me to the van and they load me in and take off for California. (Where else would they go, really?)

By now, the crap I was sprayed with has turned into this stiff plastic shell, and Miss D thinks there is a trick to cracking open the shell or else I’ll die. So Miss M “Goggles” (it wasn’t Google in my dream, it was Goggle. I think my subconscious needs spell check…) “How to Crack Pixie’s Sex Doll Shell” … and she actually found results.

So R gets this weird hammer looking thing and finds the “soft spot” per the directions and cracks the shell, then literally shucks me like a clam. All while the 3 of them utter some weird prayer that I don’t die. Encouraging. I’m finally shucked (some of you are laughing so hard right now, you’re peeing. Should I wait? You good? Okay, moving on) and R brushes my hair while Miss M covers me with a blanket. R then tells me never to change my hair, it’s sexy.

Then we get to California and I realize I’m late for work, so I go shopping. (what else would I do?)

The… uh.. End?

I should probably shut up….


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February 2010
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